Marry, Shag, Cliff: The Comic Book Writer Edition

Why review comic book authors the traditional way when you can just say who you'd marry, fuck, and kill? I mean really.

To that end:

Marry: Greg Rucka. How do I love Greg Rucka? Let me count the ways. They are Renee Montoya, Kate Kane, Wonder Woman, Stumptown, Lady Sabre. Greg Rucka is flawless. I have never read anything of his that didn't leave me salivating. Marry me, Greg Rucka!

Shag: Grant Morrison. I suppose "hate-fuck" would be more accurate; I like Morrison's writing and I think his bald head and Glaswegian accent are pretty foxy, but he seems like kind of a tool, so I'm content with an every-so-often fantasy wherein I run into him in a bar in London, we argue about whether superhero comics should strive for realism, and then go out into the alley for a quickie.

Cliff: You thought I was going to put Geoff Johns here, didn't you? PSYCH! It's Mark Millar.

Boring fantasies (and a not-so-boring one)

I am the singer for a heavy metal band. J.D. Cronise and Bryan Richie come to one of our shows and like us so much they ask us to open on The Sword's next tour.

I am the singer for a heavy metal band. Andrew Garfield comes to one of our shows and likes me so much he asks me to come have drinks with him and his friend, Michael Fassbender. The threesome of all threesomes ensues.

I run into my favorite English professor in a cool independent bookstore. We talk about Thomas Hardy and drink tea. He says we should hang out more often.

I run into my favorite anthropology professor in the GN area of the library. Punctuation of equilibrium occurs; we manage not to damage the classic copy of Primitive Classification.

I submit my application to immigrate to British Columbia. It is accepted in half the usual time.

DC decides to pay me for Tweeting about their comics all the time.

Nerd Travel Guides: Geeking Out In...Tampa Bay

Welcome to the first edition of Nerd Travel Guides here at the Pith! We intend this feature to help nerds navigate various US cities in order to find comic shops, used bookstores, record stores, dork-friendly cafes, and other geeky locales. Today's visit takes us to three stops in the Tampa Bay, Florida area: Mojo Books and Music, Green Shift Music and Comics, and Wilson's Bookworld.

First stop, Mojo Books and Music. Located near the University of South Florida in Tampa/Temple Terrace, Mojo is the go-to spot for used books, DVDs, and music, along with some handpicked new items and a vast array of interesting memorabilia--T-shirts, magnets, posters, and a particularly awesome black-velvet Elvis that they refuse to sell me. I was quite over the moon when Mojo opened about four years ago, since previous to them moving in I'd had few other options for quality used books (Tampa has a few more used record stores, but only one in the USF area, and, since Just Books closed, nothing in the way of used literature). Mojo staff are picky about what items they accept--you can either sell or trade your old records and books for store credit--and so the merchandise tends to be in good condition and actually things you might want to buy. And geek-friendly? Oh yes. A great selection of fantasy, science fiction, horror, and graphic novels awaits the visiting nerd, hardbacks and paperbacks alike (though no single issues of comics), and for niche nerds, there are rows of military history, anthropology, hard science, and other non-fiction items. The staff range from aloof to assholish, but it IS kind of a hipster joint, and they'll leave you alone to browse, so don't mind it. Mojo just put in a coffee and tea bar, which is great, but they do need to step up the pastry offerings.

Second stop, Green Shift Music and Comics. Located in one of the not-so-nice areas of midtown Tampa, Green Shift is nonetheless well worth your time. This store runs in two directions--electronics and musical equipment and comic paraphernalia of all kinds. If you're a collector or aficionado, it's likely Green Shift has what you need, from ancient vinyls to guitars and amps, back issues of Moon Knight, Dalek helmets with voice-changers, and action figures of all kinds. The store stocks new issues of comics every Wednesday, as well as a great selection of trades old and new, posters, movies, and some T-shirts. I've found the owners to be nice dudes who'll help you find something if you ask, but mostly let you poke around in the delightful dusty abyss of the store.

Third stop, Wilson's Bookworld. For this trip you'll have to jaunt across the Bay to St Petersburg, but trust me, it's worth it. Wilson's is found in an antique mall off Martin Luther King Street North and is just damn delightful. Among its many charms is the Elvis Presley Memorial Bathroom, a small lavatory decked to the nines in Elvis gear and signage (you need to see it to believe. I don't even KNOW, man). But for the nerdy side of custom, the store offers a really broad array of books in various topics and genres, including a huge comics room with back issues and new stuff and several rows of fantasy and science fiction (quite comprehensive. Almost library-like). This is a great stop for antiquarian or collector nerds, as Wilson's is a member of the Florida Antiquarian Booksellers Association and keeps an interesting collection of antiques and rarities in stock. In all, the store is very pleasant to browse in--the first time I visited, I kept happening upon new rooms and hallways, including a room entirely for mystery titles, one full of religious volumes, and one just for children's books. It's almost guaranteed you'll walk out with a treasure or two.

Let me just curl up inside your production department, Sky

Here's the trailer for Sky Movies' Neverland, a prequel to Peter Pan starring Rhys Ifans, Anna Friel, Bob Hoskins and Keira Knightley as Tinkerbell. This may be the only time I will like Tinkerbell.

Just on the basis of this and The Runaway earlier this year I'm going to declare myself a fan of the Sky family of channels.

Coming soon to a theatre near you

Nolan's next entry in the Batverse:

Songs from the heavy metal disco

Greetings, children. For many moons I've longed for the funds to open my very own heavy metal disco, which would play only (danceable) heavy metal and disco music. It would be called Gothenpop, or possibly Cruel Summer. HOWEVER I am poor, so I'll have to content myself with creating playlists for the magical day when the doors to the disco open.

Reach Out--Conception (Flow): This track from Conception's last album wraps lyrical atheism in a big, fat beat, inviting you to bang your head and maybe shake your ass too.

War Pigs--The Dresden Dolls (live): Amanda Palmer and Brian Viglione stir shit up with their excellent cabaret-punk cover of a heavy metal staple. If you really love "War Pigs," try out the Cardigans' sweet, low-key cover as well.

The Hand That Feeds--Nine Inch Nails (With Teeth): Ahhh, high school; the first time I hear this song in my sister's car, I exclaimed, Gosh, you could dance to this! It's still true.






Blood--Priestess (Hello Master): A vampire storyline and head-bopping bass, who could ask for anything more?






Kerosene--Big Black (Atomizer): Steve Albini might disagree (he usually does), but this track about combining sex and combustibles is downright catchy.








Bye Bye Beautiful by Nightwish is for some reason unembeddable--follow the link for power metal happiness.

Tres Brujas--The Sword (Warp Riders): The cyborg's club song.






Go With the Flow--Queens of the Stone Age (Songs for the Deaf): Among the most danceable songs about the break-up of a relationship.






And there you have it, dear ones: all the poppy headbanging you could ever want.

If ever you'd meet me, you wouldn't forget me

Here we have an extremely scientific rendering of my reaction to each new episode of Justified.